The Education of Sookie Stackhouse 5. The First Tango in Shreveport

A/N: Okay just a few things!

I forgot to mention in my end not in the last chapter that, yes, I totally ripped off one of Lafayette’s lines from TB. But c’mon the ‘honey cone’ line was pure awesomeness and one of the few highlights of the season.

Some of you are familiar with my little Nigella Lawson obsession – there was a little nod to her in the beginning of last chapter. No wacking graham crackers into submission though.

Okay on to current matters.

I’m in complete awe; since I put out chapter 4 I’ve received about a huge amount of favorite author, story and author alert addies and a bunch of great reviews. Thank you so much everybody!

Some of you asked why Eric was mad, well all I can say is, some of it will be explained in the next chapter.

I own nothing.

The Education of Sookie Stackhouse 5. The First Tango in Shreveport

Friday:

Absolutely brilliant; not only had I been cockblocked by my very own brother, but now it seemed he had also taken over my kitchen. I was woken, at 6 am, by the sound of the smoke alarm going off and Tina frantically jumping up and down on my stomach trying to get my attention. Bolting down the stairs I found my kitchen in a state of disarray. Jason had decided a full English fry up breakfast and hotcakes were the first thing he needed in the morning. My brother was not a cook and as a result he had burned every single item on his extended menu, as well as ruining my pots and pans. Furthermore, Eric hadn’t replied to my text last night. This week had officially gone from bad to worse – no that was an understatement, this week had been a complete disaster and it was only Friday, two more days left which could end up making this week into a full blow international crisis. It seemed Murphy’s Law was in full effect.

“Sookie I’m…”

I held up my hand, not giving him a chance. Jason had to leave and that had better be soon.

“I’m so…”

“Jason, shut the fuck up. I don’t want to hear it.”

I picked up my phone and started scrolling through the numbers, found the one I was looking for and waited for the call to go through.

“Hoyt? Hey it’s Sookie…Yes I know it’s early…I’ve been better…you?...That’s nice…Listen Jason is in town and he needs a place to crash…Great! He’ll be over soon…Talk to you soon.”

“Jason, you’re staying with Hoyt. Clean up this mess! I’m going to take a long bath and when I’m done you better be out of here.”

I was more than pissed off. I didn’t have to be at work until 9, so I had 90 minutes to kill.

After 30 minutes of soaking and listening to music in the tub, I was pretty sure Jason had had plenty of time to clean up, pack his belongings and be out the door, right? Wrong!

Since it was casual Friday I opted for a pair of tight fitting jeans and a white halter top with a faux button down placket and a pair of white strappy sandals. I was in a slightly better mood after my bath and skipped down the stairs, only to be met by a kitchen still looking like a bomb crater and a note from Jason saying he would be by later to clean up and, of course, he would replace the ruined pots and pans.

Fat Chance!

I swear that man was put on this Earth just to piss me off. He has got to be the most stupid, inconsiderate specimen of the male race ever to have walked the face of the Earth. Since there was no chance I would get any breakfast at home, I went to the local coffee shop around the corner from the building I work in. Latte and cinnamon roll in hand, I went to work.

I always do a weekly back-up on my computer first thing every Friday. We all have our little quirks and this is mine. Granted my laptop is very outdated, but it works. This Friday was no different. Settled into my little cubicle, turned on lappy and then…lappy started wheezing and the screen went black.

No!

No!

No!

What did I do to deserve this? I’m a good person. I pay my taxes. I help out my friends. I took in my brother last night for Pete’s sake!

Settle down Sookie, the comp just needs to warm up a bit.

I tried it again; more wheezing and then nothing.

No, not my Precious!

“Motherfucker!”

Only one thing to do; call out tech guy, Alcide. The man could work miracles on anything as long as it could be hooked up to an electrical outlet.

“Alcide! I need you ASAP!”

“Hey Sookie. Finally decided to go out with me, did ya?”

Alcide had asked me out relentlessly over the past year, but I had always turned him down, politely I might add. I wasn’t a big fan of inter-office dating. Amelia and Pam had tried it, but they decided friendship was more important.

“Shut the fuck up Al! My comp is crashing. Get your ass up here now!”

“On my way.”

Ten minutes later Alcide was sitting at my desk, doing his best to save Precious.

“So umm Sookie, did you back-up this week?”

“That was what I was about to do when she crashed!” I growled.

“Okay okay, take it easy.” He replied, punching different keys and thingamabobs on the comp.

“Can you fix her? Please tell me you can fix her. I’ve got fucking everything on there!”

My not so little outbursts were starting to draw some attention from my co-workers, I couldn’t care less.

Alcide let out a sigh.

Uh oh!

“I’m sorry but she’s gone. I can take her with me, see if I can retrieve anything, but I’m not making any promises. You need to look for a new PC, Sookie.”

“Fuck it I’m switching to MAC! Nothing can replace Precious!”

Clearly this wasn’t my day, week, month, or even year. Karma was kicking my ass. With my luck it was probably Gran giving me a swift kick in the butt over my recent escapades. Sexcapades?

“Traitor!” Alcide yelled loud enough for the entire office to turn silent.

“Alright, I won’t switch to MAC, but I can’t afford a new laptop right now. This just blows!”

“Well, I thought you might need this until you get a new one yourself.” He said as he pulled a laptop out of his old Fjällräven backpack and placed it on the desk.

“What the hell is that thing?” I asked venomously, eyeing it in disbelief.

“Umm it’s a laptop Sookie. I just got a new one so you can borrow this one for a while. And you’re welcome by the way.”

“Right, sorry Al. Thank you. This has just been a day from hell so far. I didn’t mean to take it out on you, and I really do appreciate you helping me out.” I let out a deep defeated sigh. It was only 10:30 in the morning. I was ready to hand in my membership to society and drop of the face of the planet.

I spent the next half an hour trying to figure out how to turn on the laptop and another two hours installing all of my programs. By the time I was done I had named the computer The Thing – I swear it had a life of its own. I was afraid it would grow a mouth and swallow me whole.

Amelia texted me and asked if I wanted to go out for lunch with her and Pam, but I was too busy getting caught up on work. Since I started my ‘lessons’ with Eric I had really let my work slip. By the time I was halfway done it was already 6 pm and everybody else had left for the weekend. I decided to swing by a newly opened Scandinavian deli on my way home - Danish apple trifle, which they made for me fresh on the spot. Danish ice cream and Danish pear pie, which the lady told me to warm up in the oven for about 10 minutes and then eat it with sour cream. Last, but not least, a huge take-away box with Swedish meatballs, potatoes, gravy and cowberry jelly. I didn’t give a rat’s ass how many calories I would consume tonight, I was having myself a pity party and there’s only one way of doing it. Food. To my complete surprise, my kitchen was spotless when I arrived at my apartment, the doorman must have let Jason in, and there were boxes of Le Creuset cookware, which isn’t cheap I might add. He even got a box full of toys for Tina.

So old Jason, pulled through after all. Maybe Hell froze over?

While working all night I had managed to eat the box of balls, the trifle and pie, everything but the ice cream. I finally finished catching up around 3 in the morning and collapsed on my bed with Tina snuggling next to me.

Saturday:

Umph

What the hell?

Umph

My little she-devil of a cat was clearly displeased with my current sleeping situation and was voicing it by, continuously, jumping on my stomach.

“Tina knock it off! Jeez I’m up.”

I rubbed my face and crawled out of bed.

Such a persistent kitty, oh well.

Coffee brewing, cat fed, time for some breakfast. Since Jason had stripped my fridge of everything there was only one thing left to eat.

10 pm, not too early for ice cream? To hell with it I’ve still got my pity-party going on.

I got out one of the Danish Valhalla chocolate ice cream I had bought the night before. Each of the different types of ice cream were named after Nordic gods, this one was called Tor and had a picture of a blonde Viking on the lid. Coffee, fork and ice cream in hand I went to sit down on the couch and watch some meaningless morning TV. I managed to put one forkful in my mouth when somebody knocked loudly on my door. Ignoring whoever was at the door I popped more ice cream into my mouth. For some reason the universe had decided to not give me a moments peace and quiet and the persistent knocking continued.

“Sookie open the fucking door! Don’t make me get out my key,” Amelia yelled.

Please oh merciful God strike me dead!

I yanked open the door and was faced with Pam and Amelia carrying three lattes and bags of pastry.

“What?”

From the look on their faces, my attire was less than satisfactory. Both of them stared at me like I was a monster from the swamp. Sweat pants, an old LSU t-shirt and hair in a messy bun held together with a couple of chopsticks equaled a fashion faux pas in the eyes of Miss Broadway and Miss Ravenscroft, better known as my two best friends Amelia and Pam.

“Sweetie what are you doing?” Amelia asked, looking perplexed.

“Eating ice cream. What are you doing?”

The girls pushed by me and entered the apartment without as much as a “may we come in”. How rude!

“We’re here to get you,” Amelia quipped “We’re going shopping at the new retro shop down town. Isn’t it exciting?”

Retro shop was fashion lingo for thrift or vintage store, in this case both.

“Not really no. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have a hot date with a Viking.” I said and went to the door to show them out.

“You have a date with Eric today? Nicely done Sookie.”

Pam was looking a little too excited, when she asked me that question. Honestly I had no idea what she was talking about. I waved the lid from the ice cream container in front of her.

“This is my date, his name is Tor. I think we might be soul mates.”

The girls looked at me like I’d gone completely bonkers. Their next step would be to have me committed to a psychiatric facility in hopes of curing me of whatever state of delusion I was in. I just wanted them to leave so I could explore my relationship with Tor further.

“Sook, get your ass in the shower and wash away that attitude. You got half an hour to get ready. Now scoot.” Amelia insisted as she pushed me towards the stairs.

Fashion faux pas was my forte today. My friends were less than pleased with my second choice of wardrobe for the day – jeans, a hoodie and sneakers.

Luckily the shop wasn’t busy. I spent most of my time in one of the old Queen Anne easy chairs placed around the shop, flipping through magazines and sipping way too expensive coffee. Pam and Amelia were having the time of their lives finding designer outfits some socialites had decided were out of style without even bothering to wear them.

After what seemed like hours, the girls materialized in front of me, theirs arms full of clothes.

“Ready to go?” I couldn’t be more excited about the prospect of going back to Tor and snuggling up on the couch with my pick of old movies.

“Not a chance. We’re updating your closet.” Pam threw her load of couture onto Amelia, yanked me out of my comfortable chair and pushed me into one of the elaborate changing rooms together with an impossible amount of garments and shoes.

“We don’t want to hear a word from you until you’ve showed us each item, got it?” Pam yelled.

I called them every name in the book, unfortunately I didn’t do it in my head and of course the girls heard me. I was promptly told they would hold me down and dress me themselves if I didn’t get my ass moving.

Each outfit was more vulgar or hideous than the other. I honestly didn’t know how Pam got her job at InTrend working as a stylist. If this was what was in fashion at the moment I’d rather go naked - I practically was since the clothes barely covered my body. The good thing about spending hours in a changing room is that it gives you time to think.

I never used to have days, or in this case weeks, like these. The pity-party, the mood swings and short temper were foreign to me. I even used to enjoy the occasional shopping trip with the girls. Everybody has bad days, it’s allowed, it’s probably even good for you, but not when it affects you for weeks. My behavior was highly irrational, I knew this. Obviously this change had started when I met Eric and decided to go off on this little experimental sexual adventure.

“To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction”.

Truer words have never been spoken. As much pleasure as I had experienced, it seemed I was going to experience just as much torment of various nature. I still didn’t know why I decided to go through with our little arrangement. No doubt Eric had been right the second time I went to the club; I needed to move on to the next stage in my life. I kept questioning the reasons for going to the club, for going to Eric. I didn’t know him. I shouldn’t trust him, yet I did without reservations. The person I didn’t trust was me. I didn’t regret anything that had happened so far, but I was afraid it would go too far - that I wouldn’t be able to stop the more time I spent with Eric. Most women would probably have fallen head over heels for him by now. Sexy, funny, caring, mischievous, mysterious and a stranger, the perfect recipe for every woman’s deepest fantasy. Eric had certainly taken it upon himself to create every single fantasy imaginable with me, which before I met him I hadn’t even thought about. I was scared to think what would be next, assuming there would be a next time. I didn’t even know if I wanted there to be a next time. Sookie you’re clearly in way over your head. You aren’t ready to handle this kind of thing. And why would Pam ask if you had a date with Eric? It’s sex, pure and simple. I didn’t want a relationship after Bill and I’m sure Eric wasn’t the relationship kind of guy. Bill nearly destroyed me. I couldn’t, no, I wouldn’t go through anything like that again…

“Heads up!” Amelia brought me out of my thoughts by throwing another load of clothes into the changing room.

“Oh no I’m done. No more clothes.”

“Oh put a sock in it, I think we hit the jackpot this time.”

“Witch!” I called after her.

“Yes, but you love me anyway.”

I hated to admit it, but Amelia was right. The dresses were lovely and within my price range even if I did have to buy a new laptop. Fucking Thing. The girls even managed to find some, never worn, Christian Louboutin black, peep toe Mary Jane pumps for only $50.

They really hit the jackpot with the last dress; 1960’s long, black evening gown, with a black bow and white chiffon trail in the front. A v-cut front and most of my back would be exposed. The fabric clung to my body and accentuated my curves, making me feel like a Hollywood actress from a forgotten era. It took my breath away. The shoes were the icing on the cake; white peep toe pumps, with ankle straps with a cluster of white, silk roses decorating one side of each shoe. One word…Stunning!

I let my hair down, the natural curls cascading down my back.

“Ladies, I think we have a winner.” I said, as I walked out of the changing room.

Both of them had been reading the endless stacks of fashion magazines that were scattered around them. Pam let out a wolf whistle when she saw me.

“Shit Sookie, if I knew you weren’t at all interested in women I’d ask you on a date on the spot.”

If only she knew

As per usual Amelia was jumping up and down in her chair, clapping her hands and beaming.

“Oh Sweetie, you’re so getting that dress and the shoes!”

“I’m so getting the dress, the shoes and the last seven dresses and the black and blue Domina shoes to go with the pencil dress.”

“See, aren’t you glad you went with us after all?”

For some reason we were all giggling beyond control. So the day hadn’t been so bad, a little shopping therapy was good. The girls decided the dresses and shoes were an early birthday present, I really needed to talk to them about buying me stuff all the time. First lingerie and now regular clothes. Enough already! The girls informed me the day wasn’t over yet and we were heading over to Dawn at the spa for a little, waxing, mani/pedi and facials – all included in my birthday present.

We ended up back at my apartment, arms full of the day’s spoils and Thai food. Not a bad way to end a day with good food, good wine, old movies and your two best friends.

Sunday:

Despite the massive wine induced headache, I somehow managed to get out of bed early enough to go to the gym for a yoga class. I hadn’t worked out during the week and the last few days’ massive intake of comfort food made me feel a little less than good about myself.

The rest of the day was uneventful at best, but after the week I’d had it was a welcome distraction and I hoped it would be an indication of how the following week would turn out. I went for a drive back to my old home town Bon Temps to visit Gran’s grave and had dinner with Gran’s long time friend and priest, Father O’Malley. It was actually a rather nice evening, until Father O’Malley decided to ask me if I was dating anybody, if I wanted to get married soon or if I wanted children. I had a hard enough time deciding what I was going to do during the week, making plans for the rest of my life was not something I spent a lot of time on. I know Gran would want me to be happy and have a family, but as far as I was concerned, Bill destroyed any of those prospects. I quickly excused myself, telling Father O’Malley that I had to go to work early tomorrow and it was a long drive back to Shreveport.

It was barely 9 pm when I got home. I spend the rest of the night reading one of the countless romance novels I had – my guilty pleasure.

Monday:

Coffee; sweet elixir of the Gods. The only thing that could possibly wake me up in the mornings. It was turning out to be a good morning – the coffee was great, the sun was shining, which wasn’t unusual but today it just seemed shine a little bit brighter, there was hardly any traffic and I had finally tamed the Thing – it had its little kinks, but I wrote that off as personality, it still wasn’t my Precious though. It looked as if last week’s trials were over – that was until got to the office of course.

Andre is out sick today.

Please take over his duties as Sophie-Anne’s assistant today.

SM

Goddammit!

Sophie-Anne was first class bitch. Everybody hated her and I mean everybody, including our boss. She was known as the Queen around the office, she simply thought she owned all of Louisiana. Granted she did come from old Southern money, but that sure as hell didn’t make her any better than the rest of us mere mortals. Andre, her ‘assistant’, was one of the conditions when she joined the firm – he was brought over as her assistant from her former workplace or she wouldn’t take the job. As always Sophie-Anne got what she wanted. Of course everybody knew they were in a relationship, even though she was married.

Gran would tell me to look as this temporary assistant gig as an opportunity to learn something new. Sophie-Anne might be a bitch, but she’s also ruthless, hard working and incredibly good at her job, which should even out the bitchiness.

She had me do everything from Xeroxing, proofreading future articles and she even asked me for help on brainstorming for a series of lifestyle articles she was starting next month. If I was asked to describe Sophie-Anne in one word it would be efficient. I had no idea how she managed to work on so many things at the same time, but her organizational skills were impeccable. I was actually glad I’d been so busy all day. It gave me less time to think about Eric and his strange reaction last week. I still hadn’t heard from him. I had my session with Lafayette tomorrow and Eric had told me to be that the club the day after. In all honesty I was going to call the club when I got home and leave a message for both Lafayette and Eric telling them I wouldn’t be coming to the club anymore.

To say I was exhausted when the workday ended would be an understatement. However, like the day before I managed to drag my lazy butt to the gym – spinning class was on the schedule. I was determined to get in shape. My body wasn’t in bad shape, but in my book there is always room for a little toning and shaping – nothing excessive of course.

Spinning was great, but I was certainly looking forward to a nice long shower and curling up in a chair with a glass of red wine and a good book when I got home.

I had just gotten out of the shower when there was a knock on my front door.

“If it’s Jason, I’m going to kill him.” I said to Tina as I passed her on my way to the door. She meowed in approval, which made me laugh.

The sight I was faced with when I opened the door, took my breath away.

Eric.

Eric in a white suit, black button down shirt hang loose, white tie, black and white 50’s style shoes and to top it all off, a black fedora. Arms clasps behind his back. He looked simply amazing, no, he looked hot. As always he caught the way I was looking at him and smirked.

“Eric, how do you know where I live? Wait let me guess, Pam?”

Eric might be able to do unimaginable thinks to my libido and, as it turns out, knew how to fuel my anger. Who the hell does he think he is showing up at my apartment? This isn’t part of the whole swinger club scene. Unconsciously, I tightened the bathrobe around my body making sure I didn’t reveal more skin than absolutely necessary.

“Good evening Sookie, nice to see you too. How are you? Me? I’m good, thank you for asking. May I come in?” The bastard was still smirking at me.

Two can play this game.

“No, I don’t think so. Listen, I’m really tired, just tell me what you’re doing here so you can be on your way and I can get some rest.” I said indifferently.

“Alright” he started, leaning against the doorframe, arms still behind his back, crossing his right leg over the left, “I’m taking you on a little…field trip.” It sounded as if he tasted the last few words before he uttered them.

“What do you have some kind of Cuban roll-playing thing in mind? No thanks. Oh and while we’re on the topic I was about to text you, but since you’re here I might as well tell you. I’d like you to cancel tomorrow’s whatever with Lafayette for me. Furthermore, I’m ending our little arrangement – it’s not for me. Thank you and good night.” I started to close the door, but Eric put a hand on the door successfully making it impossible for me to close it.

Dammit just leave!

I couldn’t interpret his expression; anger, confusion, guilt…hurt? At the same time it looked as though he was trying to read my mind, but had to give up.

“Just get dressed Sookie. We’ll talk on the way there.”

“No, don’t think so. I…”

“Sookie. Get. Dressed. I’m not leaving without you, so just humor me.”

I might have growled as I stomped up the stairs, leaving the door open for Eric to let himself in. I’m pretty sure I heard a low chuckle coming from him.

“Preferably something along the lines of a dress.” He yelled from downstairs.

“Men!” Which only earned me another chuckle.

I had a closet full of clothes, but no idea what to actually wear. I pulled out item after item, but nothing screamed Monday-night-field-trip-with-swinger-club-owner.

“Would you mind telling me where we’re going? Give me an idea of what to wear.”

“Not a chance, but wear anything you’d like just as long as it’s a dress.”

“Fine!”

Alright Mr. Northman, if it is dress you want, than by God a dress you’ll get.

The evening gown I got Saturday, while shopping with the girls, was still in the garment bag. Thankfully it wasn’t wrinkled. I didn’t need a bra for the dress, so I put on some black lace hip huggers, a lace garter belt and black stockings with a visible seam on the back. And of course the white peep toe pumps. I put my hair up in a traditional chignon; nothing too elaborate that would take the attention away from the dress, and applied some light make up, though I gave my eyes a sexy smoky look.

Sitting at my vanity table applying finishing touched to my lips, I hadn’t heard anybody come up the stairs, but suddenly Eric appeared behind me – hands still behind his back.

“Perfect,” he whispered.

I must say I was surprise by his appearance in my bedroom and a little uncomfortable, since this was definitely invading my personal space. Yet Eric seemed completely at ease.

He finally removed his hands from behind his back, holding a clear plastic container with what looked like flowers in it. He took the item out of the container – a hair comb with three fresh white roses attached to it and pinned it perfectly onto the chignon.

“Your carriage awaits Madam,” he said as he extended his hand to me.

A/N:

Precious was my old comp, may she rest in peace, and I actually do call my new comp The Thing. I swear it’s a monster.

Eating ice cream with a fork…best thing ever! Eating Valhalla ice cream with a fork is even better. Tor and I are soul mates.

Don’t hate me for the zero nookie, okay? Not everything is about sex ya know lol.

Leave me some love.