2. Revelations: A Self-study of the Female Body

A/N: I decided to turn The Education of Sookie Stackhouse into an on-going fic. So tell me what you thing – I hope you like it.

Ms. Harris owns everything, I just play dirty wicked games with the characters.

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2. Revelations: A Self-study of the Female Body

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe…you’ve done this before, you can do it again.

I sat in my car outside the club, trying to build up enough courage to actually go inside. My knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel too tightly.

The last few days had been an array of blurry visions – what happens in the club, stays at the club. In the physical sense that was easy, but psychologically, well that was an entirely different matter. I couldn’t focus at work; flashes of two women having sex constantly bombarded my mind. It wasn’t Pam and Thalia. I never saw the women’s faces, only their mouths and eyes; their true identities never revealed to me.

Feather light fingers trailed down a Venus-like body; caressing, teasing, exploring. Lips mimicked the fingers and the sounds…the sounds…sweet nothings whispered so low only the two of them could hear it; moans echoing in response.

Before the night at the club, I never thought watching two women having sex would make my body respond in that way. However, there I was in my little office cubicle, shifting uncomfortably in my chair, trying to make the throbbing between my legs go away. I failed miserably. The whole situation got the better of me and I slammed my laptop shut, grabbed my things and ran out of the office, telling my boss I’d be working from home for the rest of the day as I passed him in the hall. Luckily for me, my boss allowed us the freedom to work wherever we wanted, as long as we got the job done.

When I got home, I threw my stuff on the kitchen counter, put my iPod in the dock and turned the volume up high. I needed some stress relief.

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.

Amen.

Great! Just Great! Thanks Gran for that not so subtle knock on the head with a sledge hammer!

My Gran had taken me in and raised me from the age of 7 after my parents died. She’d passed about a year ago and I like to think she sometimes sends me a little nudge to let me know she’s still keeping an eye on me. She was very loving and open-minded, but also a devout Catholic and that message came across clearly in the form of Chumbawamba’s “Mary Mary”.

No virgin me
For I have sinned
I sold my soul
For sex and gin
Go call a priest
All meek and mild
And tell him, "Mary
Is no more a child."
It's raining stones
It's raining bile
From the luxury
Of your denial
So I don't deny
I don't make do
I'll press alarms
Place bets on truth

“Okay, that’s it,” I said out loud to myself. The words of one of my favourite songs kept taunting me. I pressed forward to the next song, “Gramarye” by Remy Zero…nope that won’t do…Next was Björk; I quickly skipped to the next song because if there’s one singer I can’t stand it’s her. David Bowie “The Pretty Things are Going to Hell”…Great, thanks again Gran! I decided to put it on shuffle instead, hoping it would come up with a less aggravating result.

Arabic sounding music filled the room; I started swaying my hips to the beat of a seductive drum and then the lyrics hit me…

Recollect me darling raise me to your lips
Two undernourished egos four rotating hips
Hold on to me tightly I'm a sliding scale
Can't endure then you can inhale
Clearly
Out of body experience interferes
And dreams of flying I fit nearly
Surrounds me though I get lonely
Slowly

“OH HELL NO!”

I turned off the music and went out onto my balcony. It was three o’clock in the afternoon. The noise of the busy late lunch traffic of downtown Shreveport did nothing to sooth my nerves...pull yourself together Sookie! Deep breaths!...I thought, mentally trying to put myself to rights didn’t help one bit.

I went back inside to make myself a calming cup of chamomile tea and flopped down on my couch with the latest issue of InTrend Magazine. Flipping through the pages I stopped at the lingerie section – Damaris’ new collection featured an American western style theme, complete with black lace and tassels...hmm interesting, not my style though. There was an article on the evolution of the negligee, with a 10 page spread of assorted negligees, including MY La Perla baby doll...give me a break! Please!

I threw the magazine across to room, almost hitting my poor cat Tina, who had apparently decided to come out of hiding. I walked over to her, wanting to cuddle her to make up for my little fit, but she retreated to her basket under the stairs leading up to my bedroom. I could hardly blame her for her lack of wanting to deal with me; instead I poured her a bowl of kitty milk and hoped she’d accept my peace offering.

This was turning out to be a day from hell. I wasn’t functioning during the day and didn’t sleep at night. Maybe I could catch a few hours now. I probably wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight if I did, but I needed to do something before I ended up being committed to the insane asylum or put into a medically induced coma.

I went upstairs to my bedroom. The sun had been facing the windows of the room all day, warming it up so it seemed almost like a sauna. The A/C broke the week before, so I had to resort to table fans. Not bothering with PJs, I slumped down on my comfy bed only dressed in my underwear. I might know how to dress up for special occasions, but on a day to day basis I’m all about comfort ergo cotton boybriefs and cotton bras.

Tossing and turning for a while before I found a comfortable spot. I drifted off, but still conscious. The light breeze from the fans floated across my body, making me shiver. The contrast between my warm body and cool air made my skin hum. I let my mind float; cool fingers caressing my body – trailing up my legs, tickling my thighs. Reaching my hips, the fingers were replaced by cold teasing lips; nibbling and placing soft kisses from hip to hip. My body was writhing under the imaginary touch of my dexterous phantom lover; the wetness between my legs was unbearable. A skilful tongue left a damp path up my abdomen, lightly blowing cold wind over the path. I was clutching the sheets at both my sides; laboriously trying to steady my body, but to no avail. I let out a small cry when my lover’s mouth encircled one of my bra clad nipples, lightly biting. It all felt so real – I wanted to see, to know it was real. I opened my eyes and saw a pair of piercing ice blue eyes staring back at me...what the hell?!...I jerked up from the bed, frantically looking around the room, but nobody was there. I was all alone.

“FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!”

I ran down the stairs, painfully aware of the throbbing between my legs. Tina was happily lapping up the milk I had left for her, but was once again disturbed by my abrupt behaviour and retreated to her to her basket. I turned on my ancient laptop. Waiting for it to boot, I looked at the clock on the kitchen wall...only 5 pm...I sighed deeply. This was whole situation was completely out of control and I’d be damned if I’d let it take over my life. Opening the internet browser I quickly found the club’s website. It was only Wednesday so I wasn’t sure if the club would be open or not – it was, but it didn’t open until 9 pm. That left me at least four hours to kill.

I picked up the phone and called my friend Dawn at The Eldorado Resort and Casino, she worked at their spa. I hoped she might be able to squeeze me in for a little pampering. Luckily, Dawn said they had just had a last minute cancellation, but I needed to be there within an hour. I ran back upstairs for a quick shower and put on my yoga sweat suit.

I arrived at the spa with 10 minutes to spare. Dawn eyed me suspiciously; I was so wound up and tense – apparently it showed.

“Hi Sookie, what’s got you all bothered like that?” She asked apprehensively.

Normally I was carefree and chipper, but the last few days I acted like the bitch from hell – lashing out at everybody that got in my way...talk about being frustrated.

“Oh it’s nothing, I’m just a bit stressed out that’s all.” I’m a horrible, horrible liar and Dawn knew that all too well.

“Uh huh sure girl. Well if you’re stressed out, maybe we should give you a deep tissue body massage and an express facial treatment?”

“Sure, sounds great, but do you think we have time for a bikini wax as well?”

“No problem at all. Let’s get started, shall we?” She said gesturing me to follow her.

By my calculations this little spur-of-the-moment pampering would cost me $200, but I didn’t care. Dammit, I needed to relax and most of all I needed to kill some time. The whole session would take about two hours, which left me plenty of time to get home, have some dinner and get dressed...oh shoot dressed – there’s a dress code at the club – cotton is definitely out of the question...right now I didn’t want to think about it, I just wanted to relax.

Two hours later I emerged from the spa all pampered and waxed, but not relaxed.

This has got to stop and it has to stop tonight! I though while mentally slapping myself for letting Amelia and Pam talk me into going in the first place.

We went out to the lounge area and I got out my purse to pay for the treatments. Dawn waved me off, telling me it was on the house since the client had cancelled late, which meant he or she would have to pay full price for the treatments they had booked. I hugged her and thanked her as I hurried out the building.

When I got home it was almost 8.45. I searched the fridge for something quick and edible, but my stomach lurched so I decided against it. Instead, I went upstairs in order to find the right attire for the evening.

Cotton, cotton, and cotton everywhere; I had worn the La Perla negligee Saturday night. The club seemed very high end and I was certain repeated outfits would be frowned upon. I rummaged through my drawers and finally came across my Ed Hardy Holiday Tattoo Mesh camisole with matching hiphuggers. Okay, so it wasn’t exactly sexy, but it certainly wasn’t white cotton either. I put on some light make-up, pulled my hair into a tight ponytail and dressed in the lingerie. I checked myself in the mirror and hardly recognized the person starring back at me. I looked exhausted to say the least, but my eyes – my eyes were fierce and determined. I took a deep breath.

“This needs to stop! You need to stop this now!” I told my reflexion.

I went down stairs, grabbed my keys, and glanced at the clock...9.30...I put on my short black trench coat and ran out the door.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe…you’ve done this before, you can do it again.

I kept telling myself that over and over again. I was not going to participate in anything tonight. I just wanted to confront Eric and get him to tell me what the heck he’s done to me. I had no clue as to how something or somebody, for that matter, had that kind of effect on me. I mean it wasn’t like I’d had sex with another woman Saturday. I had watched Pam and Thalia, but I didn’t join in. Watching them turned out to be enticing, but I had seen and experienced enticing things before, maybe not anything close to what happened Saturday night, but still, it most certainly did not have this effect on me.

Eric was...No words could describe Eric. My experience had been unexpected and earth shattering to say the least. I don’t even know if what we did constituted having sex. He had definitely gotten me off. Giving me the most intense orgasm I’ve ever experienced; so intense it had made me cry – I’ve only ever cried once during sex, my first time, and it was not from pleasure. I suppose the main question was; why did I let it affect me like this? Well, I was sure as the day is long, going to find out.

I got up the nerve to get out of my car and walk up to the club; pausing to take a deep breath, trying to muster up some confidence before I entered.

The woman who checked our coats Saturday night was there again.

“Hi, is it possible for me to talk to Eric Northman?” I asked, failing miserable at sounding somewhat businesslike.

“Are you a member of our club, Ms.?” She smiled

Am I a member? Definitely not!

“Umm...No...umm...but I was here Saturday night with some friends, and I happened to meet Mr. Northman. Is there a chance I could talk to him?”

“Umm...umm...” Way to go Sookie. How eloquent of you.

“Oh yes, I remember. You were here with Pam and Amelia, right? Let me have your name and I’ll check the members list.” She beamed...why so chipper?!

“I’m sure I’m not on the list, but if it helps, my name is Sookie Stackhouse.”

She checked the list; a few seconds later she beamed at me...again.

“Looks like you’re in luck Ms. Stackhouse. You’re a special guest member. Eric is downstairs somewhere. May I take your coat?”

Special guest, huh? Cocky bastard!

“Thanks, and its Sookie, just Sookie.” I said as I deposited my coat.

“Felicia. Have a nice evening, Sookie.”

I walked down the stairs; reality hit me when I took the last step. Shoot what if Pam, Amelia or Tray are here? I went over their schedule in my head; Wednesday night Amelia had yoga classes and Pam was working on a big project at work. Amelia had mentioned, in passing, that Tray would be in New Orleans all week working on some vintage cars for a high profile photo shoot for InTrend Magazine...phew possible disaster deflected!

I walked over to the bar and sat down. The bartender from Saturday was working again tonight. I had scarcely been at the bar for more than a minute before a tall, muscular, olive skinned man approached me.

“Hey babe, I’m Quinn. Looks like you’re here alone. Maybe we could have a good time together?” He practically purred as he seated himself on the stool next to me.

“What makes you think I’m here alone? Maybe I’m waiting for somebody.” I replied uninterested...So this is what it’s like coming alone to these kinds of clubs. People approach you and want to have sex without even knowing your name. No Thanks!

“Well are you?” He grinned like a Cheshire cat.

“Am I what?”

Apparently I was funny, because the bartender chuckled lowly to himself.

“Waiting for somebody?” He asked while stroking my hand.

Apparently the man can’t take a hint...I snatched my hand away.

“Listen Quinn, yes I’m here alone and no I’m not waiting for somebody, but I just got here and I’m not really interested” I tried sounding cordial, but I’m sure I came off sounding like a total bitch.

“Oh come on babe...”

“The lady said she wasn’t interested, so find somebody else to play with.” The bartender interrupted. The two men locked eyes for a brief second and then Quinn got up and left.

“Thanks” I sighed in relief.

“Not a problem. Gin and tonic, right?”

“Excuse me what?”

This whole day had thrown me for a loop; first the visions and then being approached by the Cheshire cat for sex. Now I wasn’t even able to answer a simple question without sounding like an utter nitwit.

“Your choice of drink is gin and tonic – that’s what you had Saturday.” Affording me a brilliant smile.

“umm...yeah, but I’m driving tonight so better make that a ginger ale.” I said smiling back at him. At that same instant Eric strolled by and sat in one of the booths at the back of the lounge area.

“Wait. Make that a shot of Stoli instead.”

For a few minutes I had forgotten the real reason I was there, but I wasn’t instantly brought back to reality. Once again Eric wore silk pyjama pants, black, and had completed the look with a black tank top that clung to his chest in just the right way.

All the air left my lungs; the man was a god!

“Liquid courage” the bartender said matter-of-factly.

“Not really.”

I was looking down at the bar top, trying to hide all the shades of red I’m sure was rapidly spreading across my face...dammit Sookie don’t let him get to you!

“It wasn’t a question.”

I looked up at him; he was licking off a few drops of vodka he’d spilled on his hand. Our eyes met for a short moment...deep dark brown almost black eyes...he licked his lips...okaaay?

I swallowed the drink in one mouthful, letting the liquid slowly tickle down my throat, burning its way to the pit of my stomach. I welcomed the burning sensation, it was real. Everything else that had happened these past few days were not real – tricks of my imagination, maybe even wishful thinking. Stoli I could deal with, phantom lovers I could not. I need more ‘liquid courage’.

“Beam me up Scotty” I said, pushing my shot glass slightly forward.

“Certainly...and it’s Jared Longshadow, not Scotty. I prefer just Longshadow.” He uttered while pouring me another shot.

“Sookie” I stated and downed the shot.

“I know” was his only reply and then he flashed me that brilliant smile again.

I definitely had enough ‘liquid courage’ in me to last all night. I just didn’t know how to confront Eric. You can’t just walk up to a person and say “stop playing voodoo mind games with me that shit belongs in New Orleans” or maybe I could, minus the voodoo reference of course. Grabbing the bull by its horns, maybe that was the way to go – no beating around the bush.

That’s it. Full on confrontation! I thought to myself.

“If you’ll excuse me, Longshadow, I’ve got business to attend to.”

I got up and walked over to the booth Eric was currently occupying. He was toying with his Blackberry...boys and their toys. He didn’t register me...well well Mr. High-and-Mighty. I sat down and looked at him intently; still no reaction.

“Won’t you please sit down, Sookie?” He said after a few minutes, not looking up from his plaything.

By that time I was practically fuming. Who the hell did he think he was?

“I already am!” I spat at him. He looked up and smirked at me.

“I know. I was just being polite. Now what can I do for you this evening?”

So that’s how you want to play it. Well game on Mr.!

“Listen Buddy. I don’t know what kind of games you play here, but whatever you did to me last week, I need you to tell me what the hell it was and I need you to make it stop right now! Because frankly I’ve had just about enough!” Game, set, match!

Eric stared at me, narrowing his eyes like he was trying to penetrate my mind.

“First of all Sookie, my name is not Buddy, it’s Eric. Secondly, I have no idea what you are referring to. Honestly though, I’m intrigued. Please do enlighten me on whatever it is you assume I’ve done and it would be my pleasure to help in any way I can.”

He looked perfectly livid when he spoke to me. Well good then we were in the same frame of mind. I might be angry as hell, but I couldn’t help noticing his intonation of certain words. Everything about him screamed ‘sex’, even his voice, even when he looked like he was ready punch somebody in the face he was sexy. Okay, so ‘attacking’ him like that probably wasn’t the best idea, hindsight is always 20/20.

Time for a new plan.

“Eric I’m sorry. I’m just...I...I don’t know what’s happening and it’s scaring the living daylight out of me. I’ve barely slept since Saturday. I can’t do my job properly because I keep seeing these sequences of images in my head. It all started after I spend the evening here at the club. I just don’t know, okay.”

My barriers were beginning to crumble, but it didn’t really matter. All I wanted was some clarification and peace of mind so I could go back to my life as it was before.

Eric eased up when he saw my somewhat overwhelmed demeanour and took my hand, gently rubbing circles with this thumb.

“What is it you see, Sookie?” He whispered.

I lightly shook my head. How do you explain something like that? I took a deep breath and tried to regain my composure.

“Two women having sex – I never see their faces though. And then this afternoon when I was resting, it was like somebody, some man, was in bed with me, touching me. Look, this isn’t like me. Saturday night was mind blowing. What you did, what we did was...I’ve never had an orgasm like that before and I doubt I ever will again. I just...I cannot function like this. I need it to stop.”

A tear was falling down my cheeks. I promised myself I wouldn’t let him effect me like this again, but I failed miserably. Eric reached over and dried away my tears with his finger.

“Is it possible you came here tonight not to make these feelings you have stop, but to explore them further; to explore yourself further? Maybe this is exactly what you need to happen for you to move on to the next stage in your life. You’re probably going to be very angry when I tell you this, but I talked to Pam. She told me you went through a nasty break-up and that you haven’t really been the same since. So think about it, maybe this is what you need.”

His voice was low and soothing. The contact from our hands calmed me. Maybe he was right. It was beyond me how I hadn’t thought about this myself, but maybe this was what I needed.

“I don’t know...maybe.” I sobbed silently. I pulled my hand from his and buried my face in them. I was too embarrassed to look at him.

“Do you trust me?”

“I shouldn’t, but yes I do” I sighed.

Eric got up and stood beside me, extending his hand to me. I accepted his gesture and followed him. He guided us down a long corridor we hadn’t explored on my previous visit. There was a long row of black padded leather doors, each of them had a little indicator lamp on the side, most of them shinning red. We entered one of the doors with a green light. The room was completely dark, except for a little lamp, like the ones you see at a cabaret show, on a table between two leather executive chairs. The chairs were facing what looked like a glass wall, but I couldn’t be sure. Eric placed a hand on the small of my back, urging me to sit down in one of the chairs, as he sat down in the other one.

“Eric, what is this?” I asked a little confused.

“This, my dear, is your first lesson.”

Eric pressed a button on the table and a curtain, on the opposite side of the glass wall, slowly rose to the ceiling. The room on the other side was dimly lit, but enough so I could see everything inside it. There was a stripper’s pole placed in the middle of it and leaning against it was a beautiful young woman with ebony skin and long raven hair, wearing black hipsters with a matching bra - body like an Amazon warrior. I looked at Eric questionably as the music began.

“Look at her, Sookie. Study her.”

I turned my gaze towards the glass and the dancer. Her moves, her body combined with the slow music mesmerized me – I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. The languid movements of her body made her one with the music; the pole became an extension of her body. With one hand securely on the pole she swung herself around it; gracefully landing on both feet with her back to the pole. She scooted her body down, spreading her legs in the process; a hand trailing down her body...

Eric reached over, pressed the button again and the curtain covered the glass yet again. He pushed the table between us back a bit and turned our chairs so we were facing each other.

“What do you think, Sookie?” There were no emotions in his voice, I guess Eric the business man or teacher had emerged somewhere during the show.

“She’s very beautiful. She dances beautifully.” I don’t know what he expected for me to say. She was indeed beautiful, but she didn’t affect me the same way seeing Pam and Thalia together had done. Eric nodded in response.

“Tell me, during those ‘sequences of images’ and the dream you had, did you at any point touch yourself? Use them as a kind of ‘tool’ while masturbating?” There was no hint of innuendo or sex in his dark voice – nothing hidden.

“I...I...no, I mean why would I? I don’t...” I was stammering and probably not making any sense at all. Talking about self-pleasuring wasn’t something my upbringing had allowed. You might say I was very sheltered. Even as an adult I found it hard to talk about such things.

“So you don’t pleasure yourself, ever?”

“Well...umm...sometimes. Look what are you getting at, Eric?” I was starting to feel slightly pissed off again. What was the point of all of this?

“I want you to touch yourself right here, right now. I want you to make yourself cum. Will you do that for me?”

Our eyes locked; the fire I had seen in his eyes Saturday night had returned – I was instantly wet. It was like a déjà vu; I had lost my ability to speak. My mind was racing – do I run or do I face his challenge and possibly change myself in the process? I had nothing to lose...Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I nodded my head in agreement and was rewarded with a reassuring smile.

Eric reached out and pulled my chair closer so our knees were touching. Slightly spreading his own legs; he lifted mine and placed them so they were resting on top of his. He put his hands on my legs and gently rubbed them back and forth in a calming way, only to remove them again and positioned them on the armrest of his chair. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I half expected Eric to tell me to look at him like he had done the first night, but he didn’t. He let me do it my way, at my own pace.

I let my left hand wander down my body, enjoying the electricity the friction my camisole against my body created. Trailing it back up, cupped my breast; my right hand joined in – I gently pinched my nipples – revelling in the sensation the slight pain mixed with pleasure brought. I slipped down the straps of my top, exposing my breasts. I resumed massaging them – eliciting a low moan at the feeling of skin touching skin – arching my back. My right hand roamed down my stomach, between my spread legs; my panties were already soaked. Moving my hand up a little, I slid it down into my panties – finding my hard clit, slowly stroking it with circular motions. My breathing was becoming more laboured with each stroke and I rocked my body to the rhythm of my hand. Eric shifted restlessly in his chair and he let out an almost animalistic growl. I smiled to myself, pleased I was able to produce such an effect in him.

My climax was fast approaching; I quickened my pace. I don’t know what I had expected from this. I had never pleasured myself in front of anybody before – but right there in that moment, it felt as if I momentarily left my body and floated towards a golden shimmering light. I felt my wall clench together – making my body tense and rigid...my body shuttered and I cried out in pure ecstasy. Eric held onto my thighs tightly so I wouldn’t fall off the chair. I fell back into the chair, struggling to catch my breath. I opened my eyes and saw Eric’s lustful eyes watching me.

“Wow” I whispered barely loud enough for anybody to hear it and then broke out in a fit of laughter – Eric joined me.

I didn’t know where to go from there, but I was definitely changed. For the better or worse I did not know – only time will tell what the future brings.

***

A/N: The Eldorado Resort and Casino in Shreveport is real and they do have a spa with a really nice selection of treatments.

Playlist:

‘Mary Mary’ by Chumbawamba

‘Gramarye’ by Remy Zero

‘All is Full of Love’ by Björk

‘The Pretty Things are Going to Hell’ by David Bowie

‘Inertia Creeps’ by Massive Attack (Sookie dancing in her apartment)

‘I Want You’ by Madonna feat. Massive Attack (the pole dance)